


The Long Way Home

by Hagar, podfic_lover



Category: Leverage
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, Eliot Spencer’s Past, Gen, Podfic, Pre-OT3, Radio Play Format, Script Format, Tabletop Roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-21 06:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19997080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/pseuds/Hagar, https://archiveofourown.org/users/podfic_lover/pseuds/podfic_lover
Summary: Team Leverage plays D&D. The game gets personal.





	The Long Way Home

**Author's Note:**

> This work uses a custom work skin. Disabling the skin will break the work.
> 
> The creators would like to thank Lovechilde (RPG content beta) and veretianblue (beta) for their help with this project; you guys are invaluable.
> 
>  **Content Advisory:** The horrors of Eliot’s past are mentioned. Briefly, but they’re _horrors._ For a more detailed (and spoilery) warning, see the end notes.

**MP3:**

[Download](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2019/01%20Leverage%20-%20The%20Long%20Way%20Home.mp3) (right-click and Save As)

**M4B:**

[Download](http://pod-together.parakaproductions.com/2019/Leverage%20-%20The%20Long%20Way%20Home.m4b) (right-click and Save As)

[Hardison and Eliot walk into Nate’s apartment above McRory’s. There is a sports match playing on the TV. Nate is sitting by the dining room table, reading. Parker is sitting by the breakfast bar, eating something out of a box; it crackles.]

Eliot: What are you reading?

Parker: [swallows] You can read the title, it’s printed really big.

Eliot: Thanks, Parker.

Hardison: Oh. Em. Gee. Nate. _Buddy!_

Eliot: Is that one of your books? I didn’t even know you read stuff that’s not from a screen.

Hardison: That, my friend, is a vintage edition of the Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide. Though, now that I think about it - why are you reading _that?_

Nate: And not the Player’s Handbook?

[Hardison merely looks at Nate]

Nate: Well, you didn’t think I wou--

Hardison: No. Nu-uh. You never played a single campaign in your life.

Nate: You see--

Hardison: _You_ are _not_ DMing.

Nate: Actually--

Hardison: Read my lips: no. way.

Nate: It’s not that different than running a con.

Hardison: Oh, isn’t it?

Nate: I need to sell you on a story. The rules [Nate pauses and lifts the book slightly before continuing:] well, they’re just window dressing.

Hardison: You do _not_ get to turn everything into a con. I am turning around, walking right out of here, and _calling Sophie._

[Hardison turns around and leaves. There’s a beat of silence.]

Eliot: Why are you reading that, Nate? Seriously.

Nate: I figured Hardison was right, and this will make for a very nice team building exercise.

Eliot: Team-building.

Nate: I noticed everyone’s a little on edge lately, and I thought--

Eliot: You know what, Nate? Hardison had the right idea. I’m outta here.

[Eliot leaves. Nate looks at Parker, who looks back at him, unblinking. She hasn’t stopped eating this whole time.]

Nate: Are you going to leave, too?

Parker: I’m not done eating. Yet.

* * *

[Nate, Eliot, Parker and Hardison are seated around the dining table. Outside, the sun is low in the sky; the windows are closed against the sounds coming up from the bar below.]

Nate: I’d like to thank you all again for--

Eliot: Don’t thank us. Thank Sophie.

Parker: Yeah, she said your communication skills are terrible, and we should model some for you.

Nate: [chokes on his coffee]

[While Nate is still coughing, Hardison begins to speak]

Hardison [brightly]: So, what are you guys playing?

Parker: Thief.

Eliot: Fighter.

Hardison: [throws his hands up, which sends several sheets of paper flying] Seriously. _Seriously._ You get to be someone else, not for a con, not for a mark, _purely_ for your own sake, and you choose to do the exact same thing you do every day.

Parker: I like what I do.

Eliot: I’m good at what I do.

Hardison: If I were a lesser man, I would despair of you people.

Nate: I don’t know, makes for a balanced little team.

Eliot: This is not a con, Nate.

Hardison [simultaneously]: _Not_ a con!

[Beat of silence]

Parker: I kind of wish it was a con.

[Hardison slaps his forehead, hard.]

* * *

[Similar setting, different day. There is no noise from the bar this time. Off to the side of the table there is a wooden platter with nothing but crumbs on it, and four plates - also with crumbs - set before the team.]

Hardison: That’s it, I’m ruined for normal pizza. Eliot, you’ve ruined me.

Parker: You look fine to me.

Eliot: He means that now that he knows what _real_ pizza is like-- No, you know what, I don’t believe you: you’ll go out and have that crap again tomorrow.

Hardison: But I’ll be weeping on the inside.

Parker: Can we play now?

Eliot: Yeah, just one moment.

[Eliot gets up, stacks the plates and the platter then goes to the kitchen, where he rinses the plates and puts them in the dishwasher. He returns to the table.]

Eliot: Now we can play.

Nate: [puts his hands together] So, where were we?

_This is your third day wandering the enchanted castle, and you still haven’t found a way out. Every room you enter is different and yet, all the rooms are the same: everything is in perfect condition, everything is fresh and clean, and absolutely nothing looks as if the castle has been abandoned for three generations. When you go through the kitchen, the apricot pie smells as if it just came out of the oven._

_[Eldaran] _ _Oh, that smells delicious._ _ [Sound of a slap]_ _Ow, what was that for?_

 _[Mike] _ _Enchanted castle, remember? Do **not** touch the food!_

 _[Eldaran]_ _I wasn’t going to touch it!_

_ [beat] _

_[Lolly]_ _Yeah, I don’t believe you either._

 _[Eldaran] _ _I am a wizard. I do not need to be reminded not to eat the enchanted food._

 _[Mike] _ _Well, magic us a map to where the children are kept, **wizard**._

 _[Eldaran] _ _This castle has been enchanted by a dragon. I told you before we accepted this job, this is way above my pay grade. But no, you heard “missing children”, and that was it. Aren’t you supposed to be neutral?_

 _[Mike]_ _Aren’t you supposed to be good?_

 _[Lolly] _ _It’s not above our pay grade if we find the loom first. I want to find the loom that spins gold. Can you magic us a map to the loom?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Dragon, people. **Dragon.**_

* * *

[Hardison walks into Nate’s apartment. Everyone else is already there.]

Hardison: This place smells like chocolate.

Parker: You’re late. Why are you late? Eliot wouldn’t let us have cake without you.

Hardison: I’m not late.

Eliot: [simultaneously] It’s called “manners”, Parker.

_Finally, the tunnel ends and you reach the dragon’s lair. Even though you’re deep underground, the lair is lit; there must be something like a skylight very high above, so high that you can’t see it even when you crane your neck. There’s just enough light to see the sleeping dragon by, but it’s not enough to see around the lair. You don’t need to see when you can hear, though, and what you hear over the dragon’s deep snores is children crying._

_[Lolly]_ _I sneak past the dragon to get to the children._

Nate: Roll the die, please.

[die rolling]

Parker: Ha! Twenty!

[Nate lifts the die and gently weighs it in his hand]

Nate: The unloaded die back, please.

Parker: What? I didn’t--

Nate: Parker.

[Parker produces and places on the table a die seemingly identical to the one Nate is holding. She’s clearly upset.]

Parker: There is _no_ way you saw me swap the dice. _No_ way!

Nate: I didn’t need to see you.

Parker: Then how did you know?

Nate: [smiles] I just did. That’s why I’m the--

Eliot: _Don’t_ say it.

Nate: \--mastermind.

Hardison: Okay, just for that, you’re going to let her sneak to the children without rolling again. To the children, and back.

Nate: All right.

Hardison: Parker, don’t do that! It’s a trap!

Nate: How did you…?

Eliot: I think it’s our turn to “just know.”

* * *

[In Nate’s apartment, Eliot and Hardison are sprawled on the couch, playing a video game. Sophie is absentmindedly flicking through a magazine, and Parker is similarly picking her training locks. Nate’s voice comes on the comm.]

Nate: So, I was thinking…

Parker: No.

Eliot: Nope.

Hardison: Definitely not.

Nate: Would you at least let me tell you _what_ I was thinking?

Hardison: You were thinking that if we don’t have another session until you’re _out of prison_ , that’ll be a really long time. [beat] Am I wrong?

Nate: No. But--

Chorus: No.

Sophie: Really, Nate? They refused to hear you the first time.

Nate: That was going to be my point.

Sophie: Respect, Nate. Learn it.

Hardison: Ooh, burn.

Nate: I thought the game was going great!

Hardison: Yeah, and then you went “The princess is in another castle” on us.

Parker: Yeah. There was no castle, no dragon - how do we even know that there are missing kids?

Nate: Because you met the families, in the village.

Eliot: Maybe someone paid them off.

Nate: Well, if anyone did, don’t you want to find out who that was? Because that cave trap came very close to killing all of you.

[Pause. Then, sounding a whole lot less convinced:]

Eliot: No.

Hardison: Nuh-uh.

Parker: I don’t even care.

* * *

[Chairs scraping, papers being shuffled; bar sounds are filtering in through the closed windows, again.]

Nate: All right. So, where were we?

_[Eldaran] _ _Why oh why did we take a ship? Ships are **terrible,** man._

 _[Lolly]_ _And woman._

 _[Eldaran] _ _And woman._

 _[Mike]_ _Yeah, you wanna watch that bit, buddy. Or you’ll find a knife poking out from between your ribs one of these days. Nights._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Lolly wouldn’t knife me!_

_ [beat] _

_[Eldaran]_ _You are terrible. You are even worse than this ship._

 _[Lolly]_ _Which one of us?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Right now? Both of you._

 _[Lolly] _ _So are we each, like, half a ship, or…_

 _[Mike] _ _It’s not our fault you get seasick, man._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Oh, so you’re allowed to use that?_

 _[Mike] _ _I was only talking to you._

 _[Lolly]_ _He was._

 _[Eldaran] _ _I hate you people._

[The bar has gotten louder and rowdier. Eliot and Sophie are clearing the table. Nate is gathering all the papers, dice, etc. Parker and Hardison are still seated.]

Hardison: By the way, you and I are due a talk about what ‘ships’ are.

Parker: I know what ships are.

Hardison: On the internet, girl. On the internet.

Parker: But we’re not on the internet. Especially when we’re playing.

Hardison: Yeah, but you can’t go around saying things like-- Oof!

[Eliot throws a dish rag in Hardison’s face. Parker gets the towel.]

Hardison: What was that for?

Eliot: I cooked. You do the dishes.

Hardison: Exactly. _You_ cooked. Why should I--

Sophie: Were you raised in a barn?

[beat]

Nate: They’re both right, you know.

Eliot: You know, technically, you’re the host.

[Both the dish rag and the towel land on Nate’s face.]

Nate: Yeah, I probably earned that.

* * *

[Chairs and papers. No bar sounds.]

_The tavern’s ceiling is low, which means the lamps hang even lower. In fact, Eldaran, the lamps hang so low that you need to pay attention to avoid hitting your head - or, indeed, catching fire. Most of the patrons ignore your muddied party, at most giving you half a glance out of the corner of their eyes. Even the barkeep barely glances at you. The obvious exception is a barbarian, one of two sitting with a group of dwarves._

_[Eldaran]_ _Dwarves._

_The barbarian notices you staring at him, and growls._

_[Eldaran] _ _Oh, seen anything you like, buddy?_

 _[Mike]_ _Eldaran…_

_The barbarian stands up. His head nearly brushes the ceiling, and he’s obviously a regular enough patron that he has no problem avoiding the lamps._

_[Mike]_ _Dammit, Eldaran!_

 _[Eldaran] _ _What? You’ve been complaining about boredom since the bog, I thought I’d get you some light exercise._

[There’s a long beep.]

Hardison: Ooh, something smells _good._

Parker: Smells like popcorn.

Eliot: Caramel popcorn. Sophie, I told you that was for a special occasion.

Sophie: [through a full mouth] Nate’s gonna let you break that barbarian’s arm without rolling.

[beat]

Nate: I do know you.

Eliot: Fine. But you’d better pass me some of that.

_[Mike]_ _I break the barbarian’s fingers and elbow and dislocate his shoulder._

_The entire group of dwarves, as well as the other barbarian, stand up._

_[Eldaran]_ _Uh-uh._

 _[Lolly]_ _What, you didn’t see that coming? Because I totally saw that coming._

 _[Mike]_ _**Both of you** shut up and help, or I swear… _

[Munching sounds continue.]

* * *

_[Eldaran] _ _Wait, you’re going to do **what?**_

 _[Mike] _ _It’s not a big deal._

 _[Eldaran] _ _That lake is frozen, man!_

 _[Mike] _ _You should try it sometimes. It’s good for your health._

 _[Eldaran]_ _No, thank you._

 _[Mike] _ _Besides, the next item we need in order to find the loom that spins gold is at the bottom of the lake. So, I’m going to find it._

 _[Lolly] _ _Thanks, Mike._

 _[Mike] _ _I’m not doing it because I want to find the loom. I told you, odds are the damned thing is cursed. But if we find it…_

Sophie: Don’t say it.

Eliot: Don’t say what? That…

Sophie: That’s just mean, and you bloody well know it.

Nate: Are you part of this game, Soph?

Sophie: I’m the angel on their shoulders.

[Coughs, chuckles and snorts.]

Sophie: Oh, see if I help you next time!

Nate: You were saying…?

Hardison: Don’t say it, man.

Eliot: Oh, you’re a mind-reader now also?

Hardison: Nope. It’s just that Sophie’s usually right about those things. You already said you think the loom is cursed, we hear you.

Eliot: You know what?

_[Mike]_ _I’m gonna jump in now. The sooner I get in this lake, the less I'll hear about it._

 _[Lolly] _ _Uh, don’t you need to cut a hole first?_

 _[Mike] _ _That’s what he’s for._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Don’t look at me._

 _[Mike] _ _Don’t you have a spell that does this?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Not right now, I don’t._

 _[Mike] _ _Take a wizard, they say; he’s gonna be useful, they say. Seriously, man?!_

Hardison: Oh, just you wait until I make it to level 5, buddy. Just you wait.

Eliot: You’re gonna die before that happens.

Parker: Yeah, didn’t you say that you’re crunchy and good with ketchup?

Hardison: Okay. Nobody is allowed to make fun of me except me, okay?

Eliot: Watch me.

Nate: That’s an interesting hole you’re digging there, Eliot.

Chorus: Shut up, Nate.

Nate: Wow, guys, this time it took you two hours to say this. I am impressed.

Sophie: Take the compliment and shut up, Nate.

* * *

_Before you spreads Grakkville Market. The many booths make a crisscrossing maze of alleys that covers the entire village square, all the way from where you stand to Nerrat’s towering temple at the back. It’s early enough in the morning that the sun still hangs low in the sky, but the market is teeming with people; that’s because it’s the first of the month, and so more people than usual - both vendors and buyers - have come for Grakkville Market. Also despite the early hour, the air is neither crisp or light; it’s already heavy with humidity as well as the scents of spices, food and - let’s face it - animals._

_[Lolly]_ _Oooh. What are we stealing?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _No, Lolly, we are not stealing anything. We need those people to **like** us._

 _[Lolly] _ _It’s not like I’d get caught._

Hardison: Girl, I know you want to steal the entire market, let’s face it, I do too, but we’re _in a game_. Getting caught is, in fact, a risk.

Parker: Ugh, I hate this!

_[Lolly] _ _Okay, fine, not stealing. What are we, what’s the word…_

 _[Mike]_ _Buying, Lolly. The word is ‘buying’. And to answer your question, first of all we’re buying soap. Then we’re buying food. I was thinking chicken._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Wait, when you say ‘chicken’..._

 _[Mike] _ _I mean a whole, live chicken. Oh yeah. Do you have an idea what an amazing meal I could make us out of that?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _That requires setting up camp. I was kind of hoping for the inn._

 _[Mike]_ _So you can get us into **another** brawl? I don’t think so._

 _[Lolly] _ _He has a point._

 _[Mike] _ _See? She thinks I have a point._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Okay, I really hate you two right now. Really, truly hate you. In fact, I hate you so much that I turn around and go into this maze-like market, **alone.**_

 _[Mike] _ _I’m not rescuing you when you get kidnapped!_

_[Lolly] _ _He got kidnapped._

 _[Mike]_ _He got kidnapped._

 _[Lolly]_ _He got **kidnapped.**_

 _[Mike] _ _I mean, technically he got arrested, but…_

_ [Both sigh deeply] _

_[Mike]_ _We could bail him out._

 _[Lolly] _ _Could we?_

 _[Mike]_ _It’ll be the last of our gold._

_ [beat] _

_[Lolly] _ _Fine. We’re going to steal a wizard._

Eliot: [singing under his breath] We’re off to steal a wizard, the stupidest wizard of all…

* * *

_[Lolly] _ _Wait. Children have gone missing in Shienar **too?**_

_Oh, it isn’t just that they’ve gone missing, the old lady tells you. Six months after they vanished, the children came back and killed everyone in Shienar village. Then, they disappeared again._

_[Mike]_ _How long do we have?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Uh… It’s been two months since we heard about the missing children in the other village, and they’d been missing for about a month at that point, so…_

 _[Mike] _ _Three more months. We have three more months._

 _[Lolly] [small voice] _ _We were looking for the loom._

 _[Mike] _ **_Don’t_ ** _go there._

 _[Eldaran] _ _We were working on this too. We know about all the abandoned castles and all the places dragons are, or have been, rumored to live within a three-kingdom radius._

 _[Lolly] _ _Yeah, but the children could be at any of these places!_

 _[Mike] _ _Eldaran’s right, we gathered a lot of intelligence. What we didn’t do is sit down and look it over._

 _[Lolly] _ _We do that now. I don’t-- I can’t-- The loom can wait. Right now, I don’t care about the loom. We need to find the children._

 _[Mike]_ _I wasn’t finished. We didn’t waste the last two months, and not just because we were gathering intelligence. We’re stronger, we’re faster, we’re better at this. Two months ago we were going to **die** going up against a dragon. Now we just might stand a chance. Even if it takes us two more months to get to wherever we need to go, we’re gonna be even stronger and better when we get there. And that means these children have better odds._

Eliot: Are you sniffling?

Hardison: You get it. You truly get it.

Eliot: What?

Hardison: Leveling, man. It’s how games work: you take a side quest so you can get the XPs and level up so you can take the boss fight. It’s exactly what we did, and you _get_ it.

Eliot: Whatever, man. You’re weird.

 _[Mike] _ _Lolly?_

 _[Lolly] [takes a deep breath] _ _Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go steal **back** some children._

* * *

[The door into Nate’s apartment opens. Everybody goes in, carrying and pushing their luggage, including Parker’s trunk full of gold bars. The bar sounds are muffled by the window, yet louder than usual: it must be the hour.]

Eliot: All right, Nate, why’d you drag us back here? It would’ve been safer if we’d gone our separate ways from the airport, and you know it.

Nate: Yeah, yeah, we need to lay low after San Lorenzo, I was the one who said it.

Sophie: You said it, but you’re not practicing it.

Nate: Hey! I _am_ going to practice it. But first, we wrap up this campaign.

Parker: We just wrapped up Vittori’s campaign.

Eliot: He means the game, Parker.

Hardison: Man, even I don’t feel like gaming right now.

Nate: Don’t you want to find the missing children?

Hardison: Did you just give us a spoiler? Or are you pulling our leg?

Nate: I wouldn’t do that. Not when there’s children involved.

Parker: Wait, there’s real children--

Nate: Oh, no. Definitely not. I mean, probably somewhere in the world, but-- no. What I mean is, fictional or not, you spent the last half a year trying to find them. And you could do that tonight. [beat] Or in two weeks. Take your pick.

[Beat, then sounds of chairs scraping, paper being shuffled and Eliot saying:]

Eliot: Oh, hell.

_Finally, the tunnel ends and you reach the dragon’s lair. Even though you’re deep underground, the lair is lit; there must be something like a skylight very high above, so high that you can’t see it even when you crane your neck. There’s just enough light to see the sleeping dragon by, but it’s not enough to see around the lair. You don’t need to see when you can hear, though, and what you hear over the dragon’s deep snores is children crying._

_[Mike]_ _The last time we were in this situation, it was a trap._

 _[Eldaran]_ _It’s a dragon, man. It’s smart. Maybe it put that trap there so we won’t do the right thing now._

 _[Mike]_ _You’re not the one the cave collapse would’ve buried._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Lolly?_

 _[Lolly]_ _Yeah?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _It’s your call._

_ [A long moment passes.] _

_[Lolly] [takes a deep breath]_ _I sneak past the dragon to get to the children._

Nate: Roll the die, please.

[die rolling, then a beat]

Hardison: Oh. my. God.

Eliot: Yeah!

Nate: Twenty. Nat twenty, even.

_You successfully sneak past the dragon and find the children. They are in a long series of cells, each locked with a padlock the size of your head._

_[Lolly]_ _That just makes them easier to pick._

Hardison: There is no trap?

Nate: There is no trap.

Hardison: [covers his mouth with his hands] Oh my god. [beat] Eliot, you’re all right, man?

Parker: Eliot?

[Eliot is shaking, eyes scrunched shut. Just as his tears become visible he violently pushes his chair away from the table and stomps out, the door almost slammed behind him. Nate gets up from the table and walks over to the windows. As he does that:]

Parker: Why was Eliot crying?

Nate: [opens a window; bar and traffic noise come in] I think you’d better not ask him that. Because then, he will tell you.

[Sophie gets up.]

Sophie: Nate, a word?

[Nate and Sophie walk as far as possible from the table while staying on the same floor, where they argue in whispers.]

Parker: Why are they fighting?

Hardison: If I had to guess? Nate knew this will happen, and Sophie’s pissed off with him for that.

Parker: Should we be pissed off with him? Are you?

Hardison: Doesn’t matter how you or I or Sophie feel, girl. It matters how Eliot feels.

[Through the window comes a loud, dull thud, followed by an inarticulate cry that’s in Eliot’s voice.]

Parker: I think I’m angry.

Hardison: Me too, girl. I’m not angry at Nate, though. Whatever made Eliot cry now, it isn’t something that Nate did; or it isn’t just that. It’s something that happened to him way back.

Parker: Way back when he was working for Damien Moreau. But then wouldn’t it be something he did?

Hardison: [sighs deeply] I think Damien Moreau happened _to_ Eliot. Then Eliot wised up, and left, and eventually we happened. I know guys who got into all sorts of hinky shit. Happened to some of my foster siblings.

Parker: So is it something they did or something that happened to them?

[While these last few lines are exchanged, the whispered fight dies off and two sets of steps come near the table.]

Nate: Both.

Sophie: Nate’s not wrong about _that._

Hardison: You think he’s going to be okay?

Sophie: Well, it hasn’t killed him so far.

Hardison: Oh, because that’s encouraging.

Nate: He’ll be fine. Just give him time.

Sophie: You know it’s not as simple as that.

Nate: Well, like you said - it hasn’t killed him yet.

* * *

[Chairs and papers.]

Nate: So, where were we?

Parker: We saved the children.

Hardison: And we did it right under the dragon’s nose.

Parker: Can we go find the loom now?

Hardison: Good with me.

Eliot: Yeah.

_[Lolly]_ _We’re three days out from Ancillian Castle. That’s where the Gem of Ancillian is. That’s the last item we need. And they have that party thing--_

_The annual costume ball, during which the Castle’s riches are put on display, including the magical Gem. It’s in five days._

_[Lolly] _ _That’s our way in._

 _[Mike] _ _We’re going to need costumes. This ball is a big deal; costumes are ordered a year in advance._

 _[Lolly]_ _Pfft. We steal them._

 _[Eldaran]_ _First, we steal the guest list._

 _[Mike]_ _First, we get to Ancillian. Then we steal the guest list, then three identities and the costumes that go with them. And then…_

 _[Lolly]_ _Then, we can steal the Gem._

* * *

[Oven dings. One chair moves; footsteps away from the table]

Hardison: That smells _good_.

Eliot: [As he walks back to the table] You don’t even know what it is.

Hardison: The way it smells, I don’t care.

[Plates, cutlery. Eventually, chairs again.]

Eliot: Are you clearing the table?

Nate: It’s like you said - I’m the host.

Eliot: Don’t expect a medal.

Nate: Yeah, I thought I might hear that.

Eliot: Interesting phrasing.

Nate: I knew one of you would say it; I just didn’t know who.

Sophie: Nate, did you just admit to not being able to know _everything_ in advance?

Nate: I am, in fact, capable of learning.

_[Eldaran] _ _Lolly, are you okay?_

 _[Lolly] _ _We just got the Gem, I’m **great.** Why?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _You’ve been in a ball gown all night, and you didn’t complain about it once. Or the shoes._

 _[Mike]_ _She can hang from a building with her fingernails, man, I don’t think walking tiptoe all night slowed her down any._

 _[Lolly]_ _Yeah. And why would I complain about the gown? Do you have any idea how many jewels I can hide in the sleeves **alone?** Why can’t I wear this every day?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Right. Okay, who has the list? Anything else we need to get before we can head out for the Mountain and **finally** trade for the map?_

 _[Lolly]_ _We have everything._

 _[Mike]_ _And more than enough time to get to Black Mountain before the Blood Moon._

 _[Eldaran] _ _At your pace, or at normal people’s pace?_

 _[Mike] _ _Don’t you mean at normal pace, or at your pace?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Right. Well, we also have one last problem to solve. The map is a **demon** map. We need to barter for it at a demon carnival, and then we need to read it. And I don’t speak Abyssial. Or read it._

 _[Mike] _ _Take a wizard, they say; he’ll be useful, they say. You don’t have Comprehend Languages? That’s first grade stuff, man!_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Oh, you’d rather I learned that and not Cure Light Wounds? Sure, every time you’re bleeding out I’ll be able to scold the monster in its native tongue. Would that make you happy?_

 _[Mike] _ _You know what makes me happy?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Oh?_

 _[Mike]_ _I know Abyssial._

 _[Lolly]_ _You have Comprehend Languages?_

 _[Mike]_ _I took a level in bard, not in wizard. No, I can just speak and read Abyssial._

 _[Eldaran] _ _What?_

 _[Mike]_ _Learned it from a demoness once._ _[beat]_ _Classy lady._

 _[Eldaran]_ _I shouldn’t be surprised, should I._

* * *

[Chairs and papers.]

_[Lolly] _ _You’re seasick._

 _[Eldaran]_ _You say that like it’s a surprise._

 _[Lolly]_ _I don’t know. I thought maybe you got used to it._

 _[Eldaran]_ _No, I did not._

 _[Mike]_ _Isn’t there a spell for that? Or a potion or something?_ _[beat] _ _I’m just saying, man. Maybe you want to add it to your arsenal._

Hardison: Okay first of all, it’s not called an ‘arsenal’.

Eliot: Toolbox. Spell kit. Happy now?

Hardison: You really ought to know better by now.

Eliot: I don’t care.

Hardison: I’m going to need a minute.

Parker: Wait, was that in or out of character?

Hardison: I’m going to go with ‘both’.

_[Eldaran]_ _I’m going to need a minute._

 _[Mike]_ _Come on, Lolly, let the man hurl in peace._ _[beat]_ _Hey, are there any lemons on this ship?_

 _[Lolly]_ _Why do we need a lemon?_

 _[Mike]_ _We don’t need a lemon; he needs a lemon. It helps keep the nausea down._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Oh, now you remember that? We’ve been on this ship for three days, man!_

 _[Mike]_ _Just be grateful I know this, dammit!_

_ [beat] _

_[Lolly] _ _I’m going to find a lemon. Bye!_

* * *

[Nate’s apartment. Everyone is seated by the table except Nate, who gathers up the dirty dishes and heads to the kitchen. They converse in low voices.]

Sophie: He does that every time now.

Eliot: Should we be impressed?

Sophie: I’m impressed you got him to do that.

Parker: You are?

Sophie: Yes.

Parker: I think it’s creepy.

[Beat, then Eliot and Sophie speak simultaneously.]

Eliot: Yeah.

Sophie: That too.

Hardison: Definitely creepy.

* * *

_[Lolly]_ _You know how Eldaran hates ships?_

 _[Mike]_ _Unfortunately._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Hey!_

 _[Lolly]_ _I hate deserts. All this sand._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Oh, the sand? That’s your problem, the sand?_

 _[Mike]_ _What’s yours?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _The heat for starters. Then, I have one word for you: **camels.**_

 _[Lolly]_ _Really? I think they’re kind of cute._

 _[Eldaran]_ _One spat at me in the eye. In the eye!_

 _[Mike]_ _That was kind of funny._

 _[Eldaran]_ _So you’re a fan of them, too?_

 _[Mike]_ _I hate their guts, man. But it was still funny._

* * *

Hardison: Seriously, Nate?

Nate: Seriously, what?

Hardison: Costume ball, fine, that was a nice touch. The desert I was still willing to spot you. But now a gold mine? _Gold_ mine? Are you basing this game on our jobs? Do you even have a game plan?

Eliot: Geek has a point.

Hardison: And you’re still saying that like it’s a bad word.

Nate: To be specific, our latest job involved gold, not a gold _mine_. There was always going to be a mine here; making it a gold mine was just… artistic flair.

Hardison: And the desert?

Nate: It made sense on the map.

Parker: So you _are_ basing the game on the job.

Nate: I’m inspired by it.

Hardison: I’m going to ask again: Do you even have a game plan?

Nate: Oh, yeah. There is a game plan. There is very much a game plan.

[beat]

Eliot: Anyone _else_ worried now?

[Parker and Hardison raise their hands.]

Eliot: Sophie?

Sophie: Don’t look at me. I know what the game plan is.

Hardison: Okay. Now I’m twice as worried.

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: Me too.

Nate: Really, guys, would we do that? [beat] That was a stupid question, wasn’t it.

Eliot: Yeah.

Hardison: Yup.

Parker: Pretty much.

* * *

[It’s the brewpub’s back room. Bar/restaurant noises are coming in: they’re different than McRory’s, and the soundproofing is better. Parker, Eliot and Hardison are sitting on one end of the briefing bar, Nate in the middle and Sophie on the other end.]

Hardison: All right!

Parker: Finally.

Hardison: Last game session, we were three hours out from the edge of the woods.

Eliot: If the map is accurate.

Hardison: If the map is accurate.

Eliot: And if Nate doesn’t have any more surprises for us hiding in this last stretch of trees.

Nate: [takes a sip from his drink, then:] You guys ready to roll?

Hardison: Literally and figuratively.

Parker: Let’s do this.

_By the time you step out of the woods, the sun is partway under the horizon and the light is a deep crimson. In front of you is a tall ziggurat. It gleams white._

_[Mike]_ _The light is red._

 _[Eldaran]_ _The light is red._

 _[Lolly]_ _What about it?_

 _[Mike]_ _The ziggurat shouldn’t gleam white if the light is red. The ziggurat shouldn’t even **be** white unless someone’s here to maintain it, or…_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Or it’s magic._

 _[Mike]_ _Yeah._

 _[Lolly]_ _I mean, it makes sense, right? We’re here to find a magic loom._

 _[Mike]_ _Let’s hope it’s just that._

_The inside of the ziggurat is well-lit, but you can’t locate a light source. When you look up, you see that there are no floors. That’s not the first thing you notice, though. The first thing you notice is that the ziggurat is a library: the walls are entirely covered with book shelves, stretching all the way to the top. The ziggurat isn’t hollow like a silo: rather, ahead of you is a curved bookcase, running all the way to the top as well and its curve parallel to the wall. There is a passage leading through it, through which you can see another curved bookcase inside._

_[Eldaran]_ _It’s a library._

 _[Mike]_ _It’s a maze._

 _[Parker]_ _How are we going to find the loom here?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _**Is** the loom even here? Or is its location in one of those books?_

_ [beat] _

_[Parker]_ _I’m going to search the maze._

 _[Eldaran]_ _I’m going to search the books._

 _[Mike]_ _I’m going to make dinner._

 _[Eldaran]_ _In a library?_

 _[Mike]_ _Oh, I’m not taking my eyes off you._

 _[Eldaran] _ _You can’t keep track of both of us._

 _[Mike]_ _Singular you._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Me._

 _[Mike]_ _She’s fine. You keep getting kidnapped._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Hey, I don’t--_

 _[Lolly]_ _You do._

 _[Mike]_ _You do._

Nate: Roll for a prolonged search, please. Four rolls per day of searching. Parker, your target number is 15, Hardison, yours is 13. When you get to 10 successes, you get something. Nobody disturbs you so go ahead and let’s see how many days it takes.

[For a while there’s just the sounds of dice rolling, interspersed with “Ugh”, “All right!” and similar exclamations. Until:]

Hardison: Right, give it to me.

_The next thing you pull off the shelf isn’t a book, but a box. Inside the box you find a collapsible metal frame - and a thin book, really more of a booklet. However, the booklet is in Gnomish._

_[Eldaran]_ _Uh, Mike? Do you read Gnomish?_

 _[Mike]_ _Actually, I do._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Translate this, would you?_

_The booklet is titled “Directions for using the collapsible portal.”_

_[Lolly]_ _So it’s not the loom._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Maybe the loom isn’t here. Maybe one of these books tells us where the loom is, and the collapsible portal will take us there - no ships and no deserts._

 _[Lolly]_ _We keep looking._

[More dice-rolling, until:]

Hardison: Yeah, baby! This was number 10. Give it to me.

Parker: Us. Give it to us. Eliot’s on note-taking duty.

Hardison: You guys are having breakfast, right? I can read out loud what I find.

Nate: [slides Hardison a sheet of paper] There you go, then.

_[Eldaran] _ _Oh look, it has a table of contents._

 _[Mike]_ _Is it in a language you can read?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Ha ha, very funny. Yes, it’s in a language I can read._

 _[Lolly] _ _Well?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Oh, this is a dark, dark book. Draft of the Living Dead, On Zombification, Tarzos’ Arrows, Controlling Animals, Controlling Plants, Chalices of Eshkovar…_

 _[Lolly]_ _Wait. Chalic **es** of Eshkovar?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Yeah, like the one we-- Wait._

 _[Mike]_ _Chalices, plural? Like the one the dragon used to store the power from the blood sacrifice, the one we destroyed - there’s more than one of these things?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Let me flip through to this chapter._

[Nate pushes a thin booklet towards Hardison.]

Hardison: You made props.

Nate: I made _a_ prop.

Eliot: Actually, you made at least two.

Hardison: I have a really bad feeling about this.

_[Eldaran]_ _Guys, do you remember what colour the gem was on the chalice we destroyed?_

 _[Mike]_ _Yeah, green, why?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Are you sure?_

 _[Lolly]_ _It was green, I remember it too. Why?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Because green gem means an inactive chalice._

 _[Mike] _ _In Common, Eldaran!_

 _[Eldaran]_ _We destroyed the wrong chalice._

 _[Lolly]_ _We put those children back in the village._

 _[Mike]_ _Dammit, Eldaran! You said destroying the chalice will free them from the curse! Where’s the calendar, how long do we have--_

 _[Lolly]_ _Two weeks. We have two weeks._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Oh, gods._

[Eliot slams his fist down on the briefing bar. Everything rattles.]

_[Lolly]_ _This time we destroy the dragon. We have to destroy the dragon. Even if we destroy the right chalice, that won’t stop it: it’ll just get another chalice. Or make one._

 _[Eldaran]_ _On the bright side, we have a collapsible portal to get us **to** the dragon. And according to this _ _[waves booklet around]_ _, it has to stay within a limited range of where the sacrifice will take place in order for the magic of the chalice to work._

 _[Mike] [grabs booklet, looks at it, then unrolls a map]_ _There is only one dragon-sized hideout in range. It’s where the illusory castle is._

 _[Eldaran] _ _This time I can punch through the illusion. That said, I do vote we use these two weeks to research. There’s no knowing what else we can find here that’ll help us._

 _[Mike]_ _We can’t wait until the last day. It’s too risky._

 _[Lolly]_ _10 days. We give it 10 days, and Mike and I will help. Now let’s do this; we don’t have a lot of time._

* * *

[Chairs and papers]

_[Eldaran]_ _Look, guys, I’m telling you: I know it looks like solid rock, but it’s not. It’s a passage. And I’m willing to be that at the other end of this passage we’ll find the dragon. Why would it hide the passage otherwise?_

Eliot: If we crash and look stupid I’m punching you. You, Hardison, not your elf.

Hardison: Oh, because going _again_ down the tunnel that leads to the trap won’t make us look stupid?

_[Lolly]_ _I walk through where Eldaran says there’s a passage._

_Lolly disappears from your eyes as she walks through the illusion._

_[Eldaran]_ _See? I told you so. I walk through the passage also._

 _[Mike] _ _I better follow before those two get in trouble._

_The tunnel is very long, and there are no junctions. It’s slanted slightly downwards, clearly leading you deeper into the mountain. You walk for many hours before the tunnel begins to widen, eventually leading you to a large open space._

_[Mike] _ _I raise my torch._

_The dim light catches on the dragon’s scales. They reflect back the same colour as the blade of a weapon._

Eliot: You have a game plan, huh? You haven’t even read the Monsters Manual. One, metallic dragons come in gold and silver, not steel. Two, they’re good-aligned. Golds can be assholes, but even one of them wouldn’t send children to slaughter their families.

Hardison: Actually, this just might be a steel dragon. They’re from the Realms.

Nate: Well, if Hardison says so…

[beat]

Hardison: You had no idea they’re canon, did you.

Parker: I don’t think he did.

Eliot: Me neither.

Hardison: So everything I know about steel dragons just might not apply. For starters, this one lives under a mountain. But you know what the good news is?

Eliot: Oh?

Hardison: It’s not purple.

Eliot: There are purple dragons.

Hardison: There are purple dragons. They’re _really_ bad news. They can--

Eliot: Later. Right now, we have a steel dragon to slay.

_Suddenly, something other than scales reflect the torchlight: the dragon has opened its eyes. They, too, are the blue-grey colour of steel. At least its teeth, when it opens its mouth, reflect white. It doesn’t breathe out an attack, though. Rather, it speaks. Its voice is a deep, booming baritone that occasionally grits and hisses._

_[Dragon] _ _SO YOU ARE THE THIEVES._

 _[Lolly]_ _How does it know we’re thieves?_

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU STOLE THE CHILDREN FROM ME._

 _[Lolly]_ _No, we stole them **back**. You stole them in the first place._

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU STOLE THEM BEFORE I COMPLETED THE SPELL. NOW THEIR SACRIFICE WILL BE WASTED, AND I WILL NEED TO TAKE ONE MORE SACRIFICE THAN I HAD PLANNED. THAT VILLAGE’S FATE IS ON YOU, NOT ON ME._

 _[Mike]_ _Define ‘need’._

 _[Dragon]_ _I NEED NOT JUSTIFY MYSELF TO YOU._

 _[Eldaran]_ _You don’t. And we don’t have to hear you out either. But if you’re willing to talk, we’re willing to listen._

 _[Mike] [hisses]_ _Eldaran!_

 _[Lolly]_ _No, he’s right. I want to know what’s going on._

 _[Mike]_ _He’s using children to kill. What else is there to know?_

 _[Dragon] _ _I SHOULD EAT YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE._

 _[Mike]_ _See?_

 _[Lolly]_ _Try us. If you’re in trouble, maybe we can help._

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU, HELP ME? RIDICULOUS._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Try us. What have you got to lose?_

_ [beat] _

_[Dragon]_ _I AM **ATTEMPTING** TO RETURN **HOME**. _

_[Eldaran] _ _You’re not from around here, are you._

 _[Mike] _ _He’s from a different plane._

 _[Eldaran] _ _And opening portals between planes is a right pain in the ass._

 _[Dragon] _ _THIS IS THE ONLY METHOD I HAVE FOUND WHICH MAY BE POWERFUL ENOUGH. LESSER METHODS HAVE FAILED ME. I HAVE HAD CENTURIES TO RESEARCH._

 _[Lolly]_ _He’s just trying to get back home._

 _[Mike]_ _Or it’s lying. It’s a dragon; smart, thinks it’s better than us, and always dangerous._

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU SEEM INSISTENT ON BECOMING A SNACK._

 _[Mike]_ _Like I said._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Actually, I think I’m with Lolly. If he was going to eat us, he’d’ve moved by now. But he’s just lying there, talking to us. You’ve been real lonely, haven’t you?_

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST TO TRY AND SLAY ME. BUT YOU ARE THE FIRST TO ASK WHY._

 _[Lolly]_ _What if we can help?_

 _[Mike]_ _Lolly! He’s turning children--_

 _[Lolly]_ _Not with that. Obviously. But what if we could find a different way?_

 _[Dragon] _ _I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR CENTURIES. YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED WHERE I HAVE FAILED._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Actually. We have access to a seriously heavy-duty magical library._

 _[Dragon]_ _I HAVE BEEN THROUGH MANY SUCH LIBRARIES._

 _[Lolly]_ _Been through one housed in a big white ziggurat?_

 _[Dragon]_ _THE LOST LIBRARY OF ACHABAAD? YOU HAVE FOUND IT?_

 _[Lolly]_ _See?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _We’ll try and find a different way for you. But we need you to remove the spell from the children first._

 _[Dragon]_ _I CANNOT DO THAT._

 _[Mike]_ _There’s a surprise._

 _[Dragon]_ _BUT I CAN DELAY ITS EFFECT, FOR SIX DAYS, SIX WEEKS, OR SIXTY DAYS. THE LONGER I DELAY IT, THE MORE VIOLENT THE EFFECT WILL BE._

 _[Mike]_ _So we send it home, and the children still murder their families._

 _[Dragon]_ _NO. NOT IF I AM NOT HERE. THE SPELL WILL BREAK AS SOON AS I AM GONE FROM THIS PLANE._

_ [beat] _

_[Mike]_ _Fine. **Fine.** But I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ when this goes south._

Nate: Roll for a prolonged search, please. How long do you search for?

Parker: Until we find a different way.

[die rolling again and again]

* * *

_[Dragon]_ _YOU HAVE RETURNED._

 _[Eldaran] _ _Did you think we wouldn’t?_

 _[Dragon]_ _OF COURSE._

 _[Mike]_ _I don’t trust you. But if helping you get home is the best way to save those people, then I will._

 _[Dragon]_ _HAVE YOU FOUND A WAY THEN?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _It’s kind of a good news/bad news kind of a situation. We might have found a spell, but it requires a whole long list of things._

 _[Dragon]_ _HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE LIST?_

 _[Lolly] _ _Obviously._

 _[Dragon] _ _READ IT TO ME._

Hardison: Do I really need to read out the whole list? There’s, like, two dozen items on here.

Nate: Yeah, let’s skip this part.

_[Dragon]_ _MANY OF THESE ITEMS I ALREADY HAVE. MANY OF THOSE INGREDIENTS I KNOW WHERE TO SOURCE. THERE ARE BUT FOUR ITEMS AND TWO INGREDIENTS REMAINING._

 _[Eldaran] _ _I was hoping you’d say that. So let’s strike those off, and go about finding the other ones._

 _[Lolly] _ _We already missed the six-day deadline. Let’s try and make the six-week one._

* * *

[Hardison walks into the back room.]

Hardison: Hey, Eliot, why did you--

[The debrief bar is set out like a dining table. There’s even candles. Nate, Sophie and Eliot are already there, but no Parker.]

Hardison: O-kay, that answers one question, and raises another. I know you usually cook on game nights, but what did we do to deserve _this?_

Eliot: You didn’t. She did.

[From behind Hardison, Parker bounces in.]

Parker: Hey guys! What did I miss?

Nate: Well, you almost missed dinner.

Parker: Ooh! What are we having?

Eliot: Start eating. I’ll explain.

[For a while, there’s just dinner-sounds - cutlery, plates, little sounds of pleasure. These eventually die down.]

Sophie: Oh, I am so full.

Hardison: Eliot, buddy, you outdid yourself.

Parker: Um, I’m going to do something a little weird, okay?

Hardison: Girl, what did we do wrong that you feel like you need to apologize for that?

Parker: I was talking to Eliot.

Eliot: I think I can take it.

[Parker pounces on Eliot for a full-body hug, using both her arms and her legs. He makes a little ‘oof’ sound.]

Parker: Your food made me feel things!

Hardison: Your food made Parker feel things! [He joins the hug.]

Sophie: Well isn’t that just adorable.

Nate: More wine?

Sophie: Yes, please.

Parker: Okay, that was my tenth success, what do I get?

_The next space you enter is round. There are crates lined up along its circumference, on shelves several stories high. Each crate is as tall as your waist, and the scrolls contained in them are at least as tall as you are._

_[Lolly]_ _I unroll one of those scrolls._

_It’s a map._

_[Lolly]_ _A map. They’re all maps. It’s a map room._ _[beat]_ _Wait, what’s that flower thing on our list--_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Virgin petals from the Ghost Rose of Sellamon, picked at midnight in a lightning storm from the peak of Mt. Sellamon. The dragon had no idea where that even is._

 _[Lolly]_ _Is there a Mt. Sellamon on the map?_

_Not on **this** map._

_[Lolly] _ _Guys, I need you over here!_

Eliot: Oh, great. _More_ rolling for research. Can I hit something?

Nate: There might be something hittable on the way to Mt. Sellamon.

Hardison: Oh, you think you’re funny. Do you think he’s funny?

Parker: I don’t think he’s funny.

Eliot: Me neither.

Nate: Are you guys ganging up on me?

Sophie: You say that like it’s new.

Parker: We could go steal the Sword from Tubin Castle.

Hardison: No, we are not doing that. Earl Tubin has a brass dragon on his payroll. That’s a job for our dragon.

Eliot: He’s not ‘our’ dragon.

Parker: He is the dragon we’re helping.

Eliot: Only because he thinks it’s okay to kill hundreds of people to get what he wants. If it isn’t over a thousand; he never did tell us how many sacrificial villages it would take.

Hardison: Dude, he’s been away from his home for 500 years. He’s allowed to go a little crazy.

Eliot: Oh, are you saying what he did is okay?

Hardison: No, but I’m saying it’s understandable. A human, maybe even an elf or a dwarf, would’ve adapted; but he’s a dragon, and they don’t adapt very well. Even steels.

Nate: So it’s a bit like blaming a wolf for eating sheep.

Hardison: When you put it that, it sounds terrible.

Eliot: That’s because it is. A wolf’s an animal. Dragon’s smart enough to count as a person, I’m gonna treat it like a person. And that starts with holding him accountable. You don’t take pity on snakes, Hardison.

Hardison: You really feel strongly about this, don’t you?

Parker: Look, we’re not taking pity on him. We’re helping him get home because that’s actually the best way to make the blood sacrifices _stop._

Hardison: No, you know what? I _am_ a little bit sorry for him, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing, _or_ letting him off the hook easy. People in bad situations make bad decisions. It’s a thing that happens. It doesn’t make them bad people. What does matter is how they _feel_ about what they’re doing, and this dragon, man? This dragon _jumped_ on the slim sliver of a chance of finding another way. Dragons are constitutionally conceited, man; do you have any idea how hard it is for a dragon to admit something other than himself might be better at something? I’m telling you, this dragon is a good egg.

Eliot: I don’t know how a smart man like you can be so dense!

Sophie: Eliot!

Parker: [in a much different voice than Sophie’s] Eliot. Remember how you told me, about-- something else, that it can be a blessing and it can be a curse?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I think maybe this also applies to the way Hardison sees things.

[beat]

Eliot: I need some air.

[Eliot pushes back his stool, gets up and leaves through the door that leads to the alley, rather than the one that leads to the brew pub.]

* * *

Parker: So while you guys were in Japan, I figured out how to break into Tubin Castle and I went and did it.

Hardison: Girl, no; we’ve been playing for how long now?

Parker: Huh?

Nate: All right. I’m running this game. Did you play it out with me?

Parker: No?

Hardison: Here it comes…

Nate: So did it happen?

Parker: I… guess it didn’t?

Hardison: [sighs]

* * *

Parker: Ugh, 3. Eliot, your turn.

Eliot: 18\. That’s my tenth, what do I get?

_The next map you unroll is of the demon realm of Sellamon. There is a mountain marked at the center of a map, and an entrance through Black Mountain marked at the very edge of it._

_[Eldaran]_ _So good news, we know where Mt. Sellamon is and how to get there, and I have an inkling it’s the sort of place to **always** have a lightning storm._

 _[Mike]_ _Bad news, the nearest the collapsible portal can get us is outside the gates of Black Mountain. And then we’ll need to barter with demons, again._

 _[Lolly] _ _Good news again, it’s the demons we know._

Hardison: That sounded deep. Was that supposed to sound deep?

Nate: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Eliot: You know, Nate, you may be spending too much time with Sophie.

Nate: I’m sorry?

Sophie: [simultaneously] What’s that supposed to mean?

Eliot: Because outside of a con, you’re a terrible liar.

* * *

Sophie: Eliot, are you sure…?

Eliot: I’m fine.

Sophie: You’re all shot up!

Eliot: It’s just a couple of bullets. I can roll a die.

Sophie: Have it your way.

Hardison: Let’s move this to the couch. This way Eliot doesn’t need to clamber up these stools.

Eliot: I said--

Hardison: We’re humoring the part where you won’t go to a hospital, so you can humor us on this. Okay?

Eliot: [Bitten off] _Fine_.

_[Lolly]_ _I think that was the last one._

 _[Mike]_ _That was the last one._

 _[Lolly]_ _Okay. I vote we go back to the dragon and see if **he’s** done collecting everything._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Can we afford another day of research?_

Hardison: I have nine successes. I wanna get the tenth and see what that nets us. I only need 15, odds are I can do that in four rolls.

_[Lolly]_ _Fine. One day._

 _[Mike]_ _And not an hour more._

[die rolls]

Hardison: Yeah, baby! Got it on the first try.

_The next book you open seems to be an atlas. Rather than being an atlas of a land or a continent, though, it’s an atlas of some sort of a maze._

_[Eldaran]_ _A maze. **This** maze?_

 _[Lolly]_ _Let me see. I flip back to the first page._

_The first few pages line up with parts that you’ve already mapped out. It is, in fact, an atlas of the library’s interior._

Hardison: Guys, you have got to give me time to go through this. We found this now, that means there’s something in here we _need_.

Eliot: We are _not_ staying here for however long it takes to get 10 more successes.

Parker: Can he just flip through real quick?

Nate: All right. Roll for luck; your target number is 11.

Eliot: You have three rolls.

[The die rolls three times.]

Hardison: 13!

_As you flip through, one doublet of pages catches your eye. It seems to be of the very center of the maze. Unlike other pages, this doublet is done in exquisite detail and colour. It is titled The Prism._

_[Lolly]_ _That sounds familiar._

 _[Eldaran]_ _It does sound familiar, let me get my notes. Let’s see - prism, prism…_ _[Several seconds pass]_ _Found it! It’s the Prism of Meiornyl, any spell performed in it gets a massive power boost._

 _[Lolly]_ _How does that help us?_

 _[Eldaran] _ _Portals take juice. The dragon’s, like, two orders of magnitude stronger than I’ll ever be, and he still hasn’t managed to power up a portal home in the several centuries he’s been here and a dozen-plus methods he’s tried. I think we should bring him here, so he can cast this spell from the prism._

 _[Mike]_ _No._

 _[Lolly]_ _How would a dragon fit in here?_

 _[Mike]_ _That’s your problem?_

 _[Lolly]_ _What’s yours?_

 _[Mike]_ _It’s a **dragon** , and it ain’t no silver. This place is a weapon, and we don’t know what it might do if we give it to him._

 _[Lolly]_ _Okay, so you **also** know how to bring a dragon in here ._

 _[Eldaran]_ _He’s a steel. It’s one of the breeds of dragon that may be able to turn into a human form. If he can do it, though, I wonder why he hasn’t done it the second he met us; steels usually **love** their human forms._

 _[Lolly]_ _I’m with Mike._

 _[Mike]_ _Thank you._

 _[Lolly]_ _This place is Ours. Even the demons who sold us the map didn’t know it would lead us **here**. Once we give the dragon the ingredients we collected, it doesn’t need us anymore._

 _[Eldaran]_ _And what happens if he tries to cast the portal and it doesn’t work? You think it’s just a coincidence we found this now?_

 _[Lolly]_ _If that happens, we tell him about the Prism then._

 _[Eldaran]_ _The petals of the Ghost Rose need to be virgin. **Virgin**. That means they haven’t been used in any ritual. You wanna climb that damn mountain again? Even the demons thought we’re crazy for doing that. Oil of Leophare, that has to be virgin too. And that’s just what I remember off the top of my head, there were like two dozen items on that list._

_ [beat] _

_[Mike]_ _You are not seriously considering this._

 _[Lolly]_ _Eldaran’s right. We won’t manage to reacquire all the ingredients in time. And that’s assuming the dragon won’t try to eat us for the failure._

 _[Mike]_ _You say that, but you want to bring him in here?_

 _[Lolly]_ _If we want to save the village, we have to. It’s our best shot._

 _[Mike]_ _It’s a **dragon.** A. Dragon. It’s the very definition of ‘dangerous’._

 _[Eldaran]_ _What’s with the speciesism, man? Would it kill you to remember the dragon is a ‘he’, not an ‘it’?_

 _[Mike]_ _You’re the one who’s going to get us all killed! The dragon needs us for access to the library. The second he has this access--_

 _[Eldaran]_ _He’s a steel, not a-- Seriously, what is your **problem?**_

 _[Mike]_ _He uses children. He kills children. I don’t care what else he does, I don’t care what else he is. He’s the kind of scum who’ll chew up and spit out **kids.** Now you get it? You can’t trust me!_

[Several seconds tick by.]

Eliot: What are y’all staring at me for?

Hardison: You didn’t say ‘it’, man. You didn’t say we can’t trust ‘it’.

Eliot: Fine, so I called the dragon a ‘he’--

Hardison: You didn’t say that either.

[beat]

Parker: You said ‘me’. You said we can’t trust you.

[Beat. Eliot tries to get up, but puts weight on his injured leg and hisses. Sophie gets up, putting her hand on Nate’s shoulder. He gets up as well, and they both leave. Eliot is looking at the floor.]

Eliot: [forcefully] Aren’t you going to leave also?

Hardison: Nah, man. We told you--

Eliot: Dammit, Hardison!

Parker: He’s right, though. We did tell you: we go through things together. This thing included.

Eliot: There is no ‘together’. There can be no ‘together’, not after I just--

[Beat]

Hardison: You know, if Nate were here, he’d point out the part where you can’t say it. So I will.

Parker: Alec--

Hardison: [speaking very carefully] It needs to be said. Okay? I need to say it. Just-- just give me a minute.

Eliot: _What_ needs to be said?

Hardison: What you just said, except out of character.

Eliot: I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.

Parker: Really? Then why can’t there be a ‘we’, if you didn’t…?

Eliot: [lowly, viciously] You can’t say it either. Do I need to spell out for you what that means?

Hardison: You killed children. There, I said it. My head is spinning and I think I’m going to throw up in a minute, but I said it: you killed children. And we didn’t need you to tell us that. We-- [He bends over and puts his head between his knees.]

Parker: We figured it out. It had to be something you’d think we’d super-hate you for. Not a lot of options. We knew it had to be kids. [On the last words, her voice wavers.]

[One second. Two. Three.]

Eliot: How can you even be looking at me?

Hardison: Because you can’t even say it, Eliot. [He straightens up.] Because you hate yourself for it. You know it was wrong, and--

Eliot: That doesn’t change a damn thing. You try looking their families in the eye and telling them, telling them that-- [His eyes squeeze shut and his breath becomes ragged. He’s crying.]

Hardison: I’m getting you tissues. I ain’t leaving, I’m just getting you some tissues. All right? [He tries to put his hand on Eliot’s uninjured knee. Eliot slaps it away.] All right. Still bringing you tissues, though.

[Neither Parker or Eliot speaks or moves while Hardison moves about the space.]

Hardison: There. Tissues _and_ chocolate. [He sits down.]

[Eliot grabs the tissues and blows his nose. He still won’t look at the other two.]

Parker: I killed my foster parents. Gas explosion. I was nine.

Eliot: Not the same thing.

Parker: No, but I know what it feels like - the knowledge that you can do this to someone else and no one can stop you.

Hardison: And both of us know you hate that feeling, man.

Eliot: Oh, so you--

Parker: Hardison, stop. It isn’t helping. [beat] It’s not about forgiveness, and it’s not about atonement. You’re right; you can’t undo what you did. But you can make different choices moving forward, and you _are_. You did just yesterday morning. The you we know is the you you are now, the you you’ve been for the past few years. Not who you were for Damien Moreau. Not who you were in service.

Hardison: Do you remember the hockey job?

Eliot: What does that have to do with anything?

Hardison: You were wearing your earwig when you cornered Marco by the car, man. We all heard what you told him, about what you’d done for your team, _because_ of your team, because they were _your_ team. And I - we - remember you when we just met, going on and on and on about how you ‘don’t do teams’. But we’re your team now, man.

Eliot: If you want me on your team you’re not the Alec Hardison I thought I knew.

Parker: No. That makes him _exactly_ the Alec Hardison you know. That we know. That’s exactly it.

Hardison: Smartest man you know, remember that part? [bends forward to put his head near Eliot’s] I’m not going to tell you how I feel, because I think you’ll break my face if I say it. But I am going to point out, again, that Parker and I figured what you did ages ago, and we’re still here. I’ll even say it again if I need to.I

Eliot: Don’t.

[Parker crouches on the floor so her head is close with Eliot’s and Hardison’s.]

Parker: Alec is our team. Okay? It’s not about forgiveness, it’s not-- put all of that aside. Alec is our team. Can you believe that?

[Eliot starts shaking his head, then nods instead. His entire body is shaking, big visible shakes; the tissue box falls from his hand.]

Hardison: Please have the chocolate, man.

[Eliot’s eyes are still squeezed shut. He still hasn’t lifted his head.]

Eliot: [raspy, barely audible] I’ll just throw it up.

Parker: Okay. It’s okay. We have time. [Beat, then repeat:] We have time.

* * *

[Nate walks into the brew pub’s back room, then stops: the only one there is Hardison.]

Hardison: Before you ask - yeah, I deliberately gave you an earlier start time than anyone else.

Nate: So what did you want to talk about?

Hardison: Are there going to be any hardware stores or their elderly owners in the game today?

Nate: No, there won’t be.

Hardison: Good. [beat] Now you can have a muffin.

[The door opens and closes several times. The rest of the team walks in. Muffins are found and consumed. Eventually everyone settles in and, after some shuffling of papers, they begin to play.]

_[Lolly]_ _We take the collapsible portal to the point just outside the dragon’s wards._

_The dragon seems to have adjusted his wards; you appear by the concealed tunnel’s entrance._

_[Lolly]_ _We walk in._

 _[Dragon]_ _YOU HAVE RETURNED._

 _[Eldaran]_ _We did promise._

 _[Dragon]_ _HAVE YOU ACQUIRED EVERYTHING?_

 _[Eldaran]_ _Have you?_

 _[Dragon]_ _OF COURSE I HAVE._

 _[Lolly]_ _So have we._ _[Beat] _ _We also found something else. A Prism of Meiornyl._

 _[Dragon]_ _THAT WILL GREATLY ENHANCE THE LIKELIHOOD OF THE SPELL PERFORMING AS REQUIRED._

 _[Lolly]_ _You’ll need to change into a human form, though. Or we can’t take you there._

 _[Dragon]_ _THE PRISM IS LOCATED AT THE LIBRARY, ISN’T IT._

 _[Lolly]_ _Yeah, it is._

_Before your eyes, the dragon’s massive body shrinks and shifts, until only a man remains, standing on top of his hoard. He seems ordinary enough, except his hair and eyes are both steel-grey._

_[Dragon]_ _Your trust is acknowledged, and appreciated._

_The dragon walks towards you. He pauses at the edge of the hoard, where he picks up a chest with both of his hands._

_[Dragon]_ _This contains everything that I have collected for the portal spell. I am now ready to leave for the Prism._

[Papers and drinks being poured.]

_You open the final door that leads into the Prism. There is no furniture. The walls and most of the floor are taken up with the spells inscribed on them. When you look up, the same applies to the ceiling. There is a blank circle left in the middle of walls, floor and ceiling, indicating the sphere of the Prism’s power. Inside the sphere, the light is shattered into a thousand rainbows. The very air glitters with them._

_[Eldaran]_ _Well, now we know why it’s called a “prism”._

 _[Mike]_ _Working in there is going to be a challenge, if it’s as bright on the inside as it seems to be._

 _[Dragon]_ _That will not be a problem for me. However, it seems that I will need certain paraphernalia to perform the spell, which this room lacks._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Yeah, we packed those too._

 _[Dragon]_ _You are most efficient. I am pleasantly surprised._

 _[Lolly]_ _Ready to return home?_

 _[Dragon]_ _Happily._

_The dragon steps into the sphere. Merely setting up the spell takes up most of an hour; the casting takes considerable time, too. Eventually, though, the glittering rainbows pull back from the center of the sphere. At first, the clear space is so small you’re not even sure it’s really there. Ever so slowly it grows, and you realize that must be the portal. It grows and grows, until there is barely room enough left in the Prism for the dragon to stand. The dragon turns his head to look at you._

_[Dragon]_ _I am most grateful._

_Then he steps into the portal. It shrinks behind him and disappears within seconds._

_[Mike]_ _Tomorrow we find out if he lied. We need to go back to the village._

 _[Lolly]_ _We will._

_The dragon didn’t lie. The day comes and goes, and the children go on behaving as children do; no one dies. The village is safe._

_[Eldaran]_ _All right, Lolly: I know why we went back to the hoard the dragon had left behind, but as happy as I am to be here again, why are we back at the library?_

 _[Mike]_ _Did you seriously just ask that?_

 _[Lolly]_ _Because we haven’t found the loom yet._

 _[Eldaran]_ _Girl, it’s going to take us a year to search this place. At **least.**_

 _[Lolly]_ _I think I know how to find it. I go through the library atlas, back to back. I read the entire thing, I don’t skip a page. I don’t care if it takes me a month; we’re no longer on a deadline._

Nate: Roll for research, please. Your target number is 15.

[Sounds of a die rolling, again and again.]

_After a week of research, you finally find it: a space in the library marked in the atlas as the Artifact Archive. The library is so big that it will take you most of a day to reach it._

_[Lolly]_ _We leave for there right away._

 _[Mike]_ _Good thing I packed enough food._

 _[Eldaran] _ _And we all search the place, when we get there._

[Die rolls, again and again.]

_Hidden in the very back of the twelfth room you search and covered with burlap, eventually you find the loom._

[The room erupts into cheers and exclamations. The stools are pushed back as there are hugs and backslaps.]

Parker: We made it, guys. We made it.

Nate: Congratulations.

Sophie: Well, it’s a good thing I restocked the tissues.

Hardison: I’m going to tell Amy to bring a round of beer back here, because this _definitely_ calls for a toast. Eliot, you okay, man?

Eliot: Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.

* * *

[Parker, Eliot and Hardison are seated by the debrief bar, which is set with stacks of papers and plates of food. Hardison toggles something on the remote, and the screen ordinarily used for debriefs lights up. It shows Nate and Sophie - this is video chat.]

Nate: You guys ready for a new campaign?

Parker: Oh yeah.

Hardison: We most definitely are.

Eliot: Bring it.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Content Advisory:** Near the end of S3, Eliot tells Parker to not ask him what was the worst thing he’d done for Moreau. This story tackles the fanon that Eliot had killed children. This is brought up through the game’s plot, then explicitly in conversation between the crew.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Novella] The Long Way Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21366973) by [Hagar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/pseuds/Hagar)




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